assalamualaikum
20 days ago. I was attending my late cousin funeral back in my kampung. He's only 13 years old. What a young age to died right ? I was shocked at the first place after his name had been said by my mother. I was like, who ? Who ? Who ? Again, repeatedly been asked my mother who's the person. During the funeral, I was shocked again by the numbers of people who came to visit my late cousin. I was surprised yet touched by their commitments and willingness. Alhamdulillah.
As time goes by, my uncle, whom may known by the villagers as their Ketua Kampung, during his speech, thanked for the commitments shown by the villagers and late's friends on behalf of the family members who are already in their 'moment of silence' mood. Till now, I remembered what my uncle had said that day.
" Kalau ada mana-mana pihak terasa hati or arwah berhutang dengan saudara-saudari sekalian, mohon maafkan dan halalkan lah mana-mana yang terkurang terlebih. Anak-anak orang kita nampak jahatnya, tapi anak kita sendiri kita nampak baiknya sahaja. Mana-mana hutang yang arwah belum langsaikan, seringgit dua dengan kawan-kawan arwah, mari lah jumpa dengan pakcik, biar pakcik bayarkan "
Simple yet meaningful. Most everyone were cried and got manly tears after that speech. I was holding my mom's hand and standing in middle of the crowd while my landing to my mom's shoulder. In that short time, I was thinking what and how am I suppose to do when this kind of situation happen to my family members especially to my lovely parents ? Will I get prepare ? Am I prepared enough ? How am I going to be prepared mentally and how am I going to face it ? Is it soon or many years to come ? Or is it I'm the one who'll be 'going' first ? I'm the eldest. I'm the first child. I'm sister of my lovely pair twins.
Period. Allahuakbar. I'm almost 21 by next week. Twenty-one yet nothing to be proud of. I need no I must at least know what I must done years before. I must preparing myself with all those kifayah thingy without isolating the fardhu ain. It must keep balance. I am 20 years old 11 months 23 days by now. Yet I'm so depressed of myself.
Do guide me.
ps : Do mind my grammatically error. Long time no speak english :)
